i'd rather be doing anything else.

i could be packing. my house looks like the international festival of trash and boxes 2009. i know, that's not a real festival....and if it was, no one would want to go. why? because no one likes moving. i haven't heard one person say, i love tediously wrapping every single plate and cup and bowl and random serving platter i have ever bought. why do i have so much crap? because i'm an american.

ok, so instead of packing, i am posting these cute maternity pics of my friend erin and her husband justin. they were really fun to shoot because they would do silly things, like climb into a flower bed to pose for a pic. i love it when people aren't afraid to spice up the regular pictures. honestly, how many side by side smiley pics can you have? that's right, you already have enough.

anyway, i will post later on moving. tomorrow is the big day to get out and get in. magically my dishes and random housewares will go where they belong in an instant and i'll be sitting by the fire drinking a martini in no time. i might have seen that on an episode of bewitched, as i don't even know what is in a martini.

frugal gifts. but not nerdy.

listen people, although we don't want the Christmas season to be about gifts, consumerism, gaining 10lbs, wearing cosby sweaters, or keeping kids up late for family get-togethers and dealing with their demon like personalities the next morning... you have to agree, sometimes these things are involved in the yuletide of it all. so, although i can not help you with your naughty children(i have my own to deal with), i can help you with the gift part.


when you add up all the gifts you are forced to give(some families don't draw names...for shame!) or would like to give(some of you give to everyone you know), this can get expensive. so here is the idea list for cheap-o but neat-o gifts in question/answer form.


1) my grandmother is a sentimental nut case and i'm tired of giving her framed pictures of myself reading the bible. what the H am i supposed to do this year?

try a photo wreath!


you will need wreath form or a wreath you already have lying around, scrapbook paper, ribbon& glue. all available at craft stores. don't forget to bring your coupon...
































3) i'm sick of giving a santa tin full of chocolate covered pretzels to my kid's teachers. what's something that teacher's will hog down secretly under his/her desk while the kids are at recess?


make cake in a jar, put a lid on it...tie ribbon around it. gorgeous.
make a pie in a jar. do the same thing as above. marvelous.
























these are great gift giving options if you love baking or need a ton of gifts(they make a lot). but really, give your kid's teacher a gift that they'll actually like...not throw away when you leave. coming from that profession, i can tell you this happens. often.

















or how about making a bunch of different flavors of caramel apples. redonkulous... i'll take 2. (this will help in gaining those 10lbs)

3) but what about my dog? he's special to me because i'm ridiculous.


have no fear, bitoches! (not you...your dog, silly.) bake dog biscuits. a cute presentation idea for this is to save those old spaghetti sauce or jam jars, paint the lid, and store the biscuits in that. with a ribbon tied around it of course.

5) what about for my husband? he's fashionably challenged and i'm totally hip. how can i not be embarrassed of him when he pulls out that santa tie his aunt bought him 10 years ago?









problem solved...if you know how to sew.

here are directions from purlbee.com(the cutest sewing website ever!) imagine if they were monogrammed with an initial. OMG, so snazzy.

or, if you want to take your cheapness to a new level, get one of your hubby's old ties and have it monogrammed at walmart for 5 bucks. then give it to your dad. ha. but seriously, who would know?

6)well guess what...i have 29 nieces, and they already have every polly pocket known to man.

you should make these bobby pins ,as they will be a smash hit. and i love the presentation. stamp their names or print them on paper. all you need is felt, bobby pins and buttons. martha stewart has done you right once again.
















7) my aunt has everything. she's like a ka-trillionaire. what do i get her?

well every girl needs more bath products. check out these bath salts that you make in silicon ice cube trays. very inexpensive to make...and look at that packaging. you can do this!

















8) my best friend is straight out of jcrew. she hates homemade gifts...ugg.

not anymore! these belts are freaking cute. velvet ribbon can be bought at your local craft store or online for cheaper than you think. tip: for fashion forward friends, make them to go around the smallest part of the waist, not the hip.









9)for a college student or any word nerd, scrabble pieces can make lots of fun gifts. hot glue magnet strips to the back of these pieces for some fridge fun. or hot glue them on a frame spelling out a word like, "bodacious" if you have a pic of you and your bff in the 80's wearing hammer pants.


the word "stinky" would work if it's for your brother in college. boy's rooms always smell bad. so include some air freshener with the frame. i'm not sure how you would package that to look cute. suggestions needed.







10) my bratty nephews are so spoiled i want to throw them in the compost pile. they asked for a real life dinosaur, but i heard they were extinct. what else can i give them?

these cute mittens are the next best thing!

walmart and target have mittens for kids for $1 that you could sew right onto. and you might be able to get by with hot glue(no sewing) on this one.

this concludes my frugal list. i realize most of this involves crafting, and some of you are not "crafty mcCrafters"...but now is a great time to learn. you could even have a craft-date with one of your friends who is crafty copy their brilliant ideas. no one will know.

this is my rug.

i know what you're thinking... you're moving in 2 weeks, why are you taking pictures and not packing? well, good question. but the answer my friends is simple: avoidance, denial, and general laziness. these 3 things will get you far in life. and by "far" i mean to jail.

on that note, i promise my blog won't turn into a photography blog...however, it is my hobby. and this is my small rug of internet space so i can do whatever i want. who is sassy today? me.

so these are my friends from an old small group. as you can see, they are ugly, so i only used their legs in the pictures. just kidding, they are so cute...but i have a slight obsession with legs and feet when taking pictures. this can be fun, or a disaster when you are taking christmas card pictures...as people don't generally send pictures of thier feet to loved ones. but i think if we all rally together, we can change this. think a new thought, people. everyone is tired of seeing your faces! i know that is completely false, but i have to justify myself somehow.

but ya, next post i will be making a christmas idea list for those of you who are broke as a joke this year. we've had many a lean christmas 'round these parts, so i'll share my frugal secrets. this year for christmas, our gift to ourselves will be an obnoxiously yellow hummer with a hot purple laser decal on the side! also, there will be a big screen tv attached to the side of it that shows what we're doing on the inside of the car. wouldn't that be awesome if i weren't totally making this up? btw, i'm sorry if i just described and made fun of your car.

actually, since we are moving, our gift to each other will probably be a washer and dryer. that is exciting isn't it?

no fail, this will get you some action

so i know like 3 guys read this blog. and i know you won't admit it either way. but lucky for you, i have pity on your souls and i have created a cheat sheet of 5 things that will be a total hit for your wife this yultide season. these gifts will get you a smooch-a-roo or perhaps take you to third base if my predictions are correct.

exhibit a: this jacket from shade clothing for $45 that will look great on any body type. plus it's modest...no sign of cleavage here, mkay. cleavage should be saved for special occasions--such as what will happen if you give your lady this jacket. whoa, hello!


















**btw, at shadeclothing.com right now, you can take $10 off any order...plus there's free shipping. this is a no brainer, gentlemen! you don't even need a freaking coupon code.

exhibit b: such a cute taste test recipe storing book from anthropologie for $28. it's a place to collect recipes, write notes, and scribble profanities when you screw something up with expensive ingredients in it. a must have for any baker...and i'm not just saying that because it's my maiden name and i actually want this from kristopher kringle.























exhibit c: silouhette depictions of your very own children from Le Papier studio or simply silhouettes for $30. this is absurdly cute and would actually be a fun grandparents gift. 'nuf said. remember when that was cool to say in the early 90's? well it's not cool anymore, so refrain from saying it. also refrain from saying, 'she is ALL THAT!'. nerd alert.























exhibit d: rainboots. these are from Hunter for $79, but any brand will do. i've heard that this brand is comfy and will last forever. and let's face it, those ugg boots your wife has are UGGly. change it up for her own good.























exhibit e: a necklace with your children's name on it from the vintage pearl for $38. if anything, buy this from the list. now, if you get this gift for your wife, you will definately get some sweet lovin' and you might, just maybe, have to buy another little name charm if you know what i mean. and i think you do. woo woo!



















ok ladies, feel free to forward this on discretely to the men in your life as a subtle, yet bold hint about Christmas gifts.

for awesome stocking stuffer ideas, go to my friend heather's blog!

a little photoshoot and a toot

look at these little love birds...otherwise known as my sister and brother-in-law. i wish i were this photogenic. most of my pictures turn out with me making a jim carey face or in the middle of eating.

any-shways, no, i am not a photographer, but i do enjoy taking pictures. no, i do not know all about editing pics, but i'm learning. no, i do not make my children pose for pictures constantly trying to get the best shot. wait, that last part is true.

so ya, when i give photography advice, it is through the lense of a learner, not a pro. that is my disclaimer to say, 'i could be totally wrong'. but i'll tell you what works for me.

a) a sort of nice camera. i have an older model cannon rebel. you'll have to get rid of that kodak point and shoot.

b) a program to edit your photos. i like lightroom, but a good place to start if you just want the simple stuff is picasa! it's free to download and it's awesome for getting the basics done. especially if you're a beginner.

c) someone who is a photographer or knowledgeable about photography and cameras that you can sit down with or call occasionally/sometimes obsessively with questions.

d) a good attitude. i'm just kidding. i hate when people say stuff like, "bring your notebook, a pen, and a good attitude!"
that makes me bring a bad attitude, or as i call it, a "badattitude".

so ya, that's just a nugget (properly pronounced NEW-GET)to chew on...

thanks for being cute audrey and zach. and thanks for letting me practice my photog skills. i'm sorry when i farted and you had to smile through that sulfur experience.

i didn't really fart, but that would have been funny i think. next time... next time.

i can't CONTAIN all my joy

ok, so layne drew names and the winner for the cute vinyl frames is AMANDA WILLIAMS! hooray for you...we are all jealous. when you get them up on your wall, you have to let me take a picture so i can show everyone in the world how you used them. so fun.

and for all you who are feeling sad about not winning, here is something to make you feel better. KLM dutch airlines is giving away free luggage tags with the picture of your choice downloaded on them. instead of luggage tags, i put mine on our diaper bags. on the back you can put your address, email, and phone number. but instead of the address you could write "ALLERGIC to PEANUT BUTTER"
or
"THIS CHILD IS NAUGHTY AND WILL STICK BERRIES UP HIS NOSE AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT." anyway, they give you 2 tags. very cool. click here to make your own.

ok, so here is a crafty craft to feast your eyes upon. when lila was on formula(don't judge me...traumatic event completely stopped my milk production), i had all these cans that i saved because i just "knew i could use them for something".

confession:
hello, my name is jami and i am a craft rat.

a craft rat is much like a pack rat, except with crafts. you know you are a craft rat if you:
*don't throw away ribbon from cards or gifts that people give you
*don't throw away tissue paper from gifts that people give you because you will re-gift them
*save every piece of scrap fabric or craft paper leftover from projects... like even pieces that are 1 cm by 1 cm.
*save buttons that fall off jackets for a future craft
*occasionally think about ripping buttons off old jackets for a future craft(but then you remember that you should give the jacket, fully intact, to the needy)

are you a craft rat? where ma' girl's at? show yourselves...come into the light.

anyway, back to the formula cans--i covered them with fabric(using hot glue) and ribbon and made receipt and bill holders. but these would be good for all your craft/office supplies. and if you are a craft rat, these are great to hold all that stupid crafty stuff you can't let go of.

then i had an oatmeal container and used that for a toilet paper holder in the bathroom because we don't have one on the wall.

see, the containers that i save do come in handy. i am mostly saying this to my husband who tries to throw these valuable containers away. don't stifle my creative energies, babe. mkay?

so yes, i went hog wild with containers. and i liked it.

as promised...a fun giveaway

how freaking cute are these vinyl frames made by BUTCH&harlod? you don't need a hammer, you don't need nails...all you need is an empty wall. oh, you aren't familiar with how vinyl stickers work? you just rub them on the wall and they basically look like you are an awesome painter. when you want to take them off, you apply heat with a blow dryer and they come right off. by the way, etsy has so, so, so many cute vinyl stickers it will make you throw up with joy.

I have a bird on a tree in lila's room from singlestonestudio (a shop in etsy) her's is black and red as to go with the decor of course. so many people have asked me if i painted it. my response is usually, "yes, aren't i awesome?" but in my heart, i know i should tell them the truth about vinyl stickers and how easy they are to put on a wall.

back to the frames:

idea 1: put them in your living room above your couch. oh wait, that idea is shown in the picture displaying the frames. still a good idea.

idea 2: place them in your child's bedroom with their artwork in it. um, so cute.

idea 3: put them in your bedroom with pics of you and your husband making out. wait, that's a bad idea.

idea 4: put them in your kitchen with your utensils hanging in the middle. this would require you nailing nails into the wall--but c'mon, you can handle that.

idea 5: place them at children's level and paint chalkboard paint in the middle. how fun. and what a great way to create artists that will possibly fund your retirement.

idea 6: put them by your front door with hooks in the middle for keys. because you lose them. every day.

i could go on and on... but i won't. i want you to tell me your ideas. SO, if you want these frames, leave a comment with your best idea. i will draw a name and pick a lucky winner to have these 8 vinyl sticker frames!! csn.com will ship them directly to your house. did i mention their cute crib bedding?

can i enter my own giveaway? i want these. bad.